Funerals are as much for the living as for the deceased person. It is important to craft the ceremony to reflect your beliefs and your experience of the deceased person, otherwise the funeral or celebration of life may not provide any real opportunity to help you move through the grief process. Of course, the funeral ceremony does not signify the end of that process - grief is a process that takes the amount of time that it takes - different for each one of us.
The funeral ceremony allows us to acknowledge our grief and say goodbye to the person we have lost. And we may experience grief for different reasons - you may be grieving the loss of a dearly loved partner or parent or child or you may be grieving the loss of the opportunity to resolve your relationship with the deceased.
The funeral or celebration of life also gives other people a chance to show their support for you, to pay their respects to the deceased and share with you the memories of they have of the one you have lost.
Your celebrant works with you to produce a ceremony which honours your needs and beliefs and sensitivities and provides an opportunity for the larger community to say goodbye to the deceased person.
Funeral directors or companies may refer you to particular celebrants or you may wish to choose your own. A funeral celebrant will be the cheapest part of the whole funeral cost but the service is such an important part. If you are not affiliated with a church, please consider finding a celebrant you feel comfortable with and who will spend the time to develop a ceremony that is meaningful and sensitive. |
  Participation by family, friends, workmates and others
Family members or friends of the family may wish to get up and speak about the person you have lost, say a prayer, sing, or form a guard of honour. There are many things to be considered for the funeral or celebration of life. Your celebrant will guide you through the things you need to consider and plan for in the ceremony. |
|
Readings, music and poetry
Many people add readings or poetry to the ceremony - such pieces can add a special touch to the ceremony. Family or friends may wish to read these instead of the celebrant. It is important to acknowledge the authors at this time. Music can be especially moving and beautiful to include in the ceremony. |
Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep..
Anonymous |
Religious, spiritual or secular ceremony
The funeral ceremony can incorporate your religious or spiritual beliefs or those of your loved one. Or it may be non-religious if that is what you choose. The ceremony cannot be a church ceremony but it can reflect the beliefs you have and/or the beliefs of the deceased person. Even if you do not want a "religious" ceremony, you may still wish to have the Lord's Prayer or 23rd Psalm ("The Lord is my shepherd...) included. If you follow an earth religion, there are many ways this can be included in the ceremony. |
|
Personal history - the eulogy
This is an important part of the ceremony - it is the part that looks back on the life of the person (if the person is older when they died) and remembers their role and their influence on their family and friends. It is good to spend some time with the celebrant giving them a good picture of the person so that they can depict the deceased's life well and accurately. For a small child or a baby, more time will be spent on the effect of this tiny person on the life of his or her parents and family and how much the family will miss seeing this child grow into their potential. This may be where family members or friends get up to talk about the person they have lost and share their loss with those attending the funeral. |
My father loved life...he loved walking through the bush and could identify every bird, every tree ...who can I ask now...which bird made that sound? |
Traditions and symbolism
All of these things add subtle or obvious touches to the ceremony and give the ceremony energy and meaning and intention. Included here may be symbols of what the deceased person loved in life or small gifts for the person to take into the next life. If your loved one belonged to a particular organisation, for example, was a firefighter, colleagues may wish to form a guard of honour as the coffin arrives. If the deceased was active in charity, you may wish to ask those attending for a donation to that cause rather than sending flowers. The donation is then taken at the funeral. |
|
Memorial service
If you prefer to hold a private burial service just for the family, or if your loved one has passed away overseas and is buried there, you may wish to hold a memorial service with family and friends. The memorial service can be held at your home or at a place the deceased person loved or, if you wish to scatter the ashes, at the place where these are to be scattered. A memorial service may also be held at the anniversary of the death. |
We stand here today on the beach she loved so much, to return her to her second home, the ocean... |
Heart2heart Ceremonies...for your heart and soul 
